Saturday, January 15, 2011

15 days down and counting...

We are almost finished with the 15th day of the new year. By now, most people have already failed in keeping their New Year's Resolutions. I didn't make any Resolutions this year. I made one last year... and that was to not keep lists anymore. I failed. I still have lists. But, I'm happy with where I've gone with my lists this last year. I didn't accomplish amazing or great things...but I don't expect so much from myself. I used to make a list so big and so impossible that it would never get accomplished. I would end up frustrated and have the same unaccomplished list for weeks and months. Now, my lists are smaller and more manageable. There are a lot of days that I don't accomplish everything that I set out to do but I don't beat myself up over it any longer. In that respect, 2010 was a success.

This year, I decided to do something different. Shake things up a little bit if you will. I decided to create a Bucket List of Self Enhancement. I did a little reflecting on all the things that typically were part of my New Year Resolutions and I discovered something kind of interesting! Wanna take a guess? No ideas? I'll give you a clue....I can probably beat that every one of you have done the same thing I did. In one respect or another my lists were always the same. The things I wanted to do or accomplish were always one version of the same. The worst part is that in all these years I am in the same place with those areas. I have grown and changed and experienced new things. I am not the same person I was then. But, somehow the things that I want to do, the things I want to change have never happened. I am the same person where my personal growth is concerned.

Thus, we are here. 15 days into a new year. 15 days of pondering. 15 days of evaluating. 15 days of examining. 15 days of preparation. So now after 15 days I am ready to put my list out there. But it isn't a Resolution....it's my bucket list. I want to check these things off my list this year. I want to look at myself in a year and say that part of my "me" list is done. Now, I don't mean done as in complete. I mean done as in I have created habits in myself that are a part of me. I have taken things off my bucket list that more complete me as myself. I am making this list for me...for my soul.

The hope is comping back to my heart. Happiness is coming back. Small smiles and inner laughter are finding me throughout the day. I feel like I'm in such a better place as "me" then I was a year ago and that makes me feel so proud of myself. The strength and determination and persistence that I have found this last year to just make it through each day is incredible. I'm proud of that. I know that I need to call on all of this to check things off my Bucket List one by one. I have been praying that all of the fight that I have found this last year will make me find the drive to be a better me. I am hoping and praying that I won't loose sight of those struggles and all of the inner perseverance that I had to find within me. I have always believed that God puts things in our path to challenge us, to make us grow, to make us the best we can be as his children and that these challenges and struggles are God's way of helping us find our path to what God has planned for our lives.

So with my 15 days I have created my list. For once in my life this list is for me. By 2012, I am going to have found my way to cross things of my Bucket List. I will be a better me and that makes me smile. That brings joy to my soul.

My Bucket List of Self Enhancement
  • Read my Bible this year. Did you know that if you read 3 Chapters every day you will read the whole Bible in a year? I have never made it very far in the past. But I know God will help guide me through this. I am excited to find my way to have a closer relationship with God and be a better servant as He guides me through the path he has for my life.
  • Exercise every day. Yes, I want to loose the weight. Yes, I want to look like the old me. But, this isn't my goal this year. With all of my new medications and the changes that keep happening, my doctors have prepared me to be realistic. Now, that doesn't mean I'm not going to do my best and try to lose the weight. But my goal this year is to be a healthier me through exercising. Be a stronger me, be a more endurance focused me.
  • To maintain a daily household routine. Don't get me wrong....my house stays clean for the most part but it happens on weekends or when visitors are coming. My system worked but it had a major downfall. I would accomplish the housework but it didn't allow me to do what I wanted to do because I used a whole day. I want to start doing better at having a daily routine so that things get done through the week and I have more time for me. But I also want this routine to make our mornings more in control. Right now they are really hectic and they could use a little work.
  • I want to get some fun projects done. Like finishing Kenzie's baby book which is already but I have never taken the time to just put it in the book. I have a few other projects but I can't go into details because that would be giving away some presents for the year! But there are some other little things like finish painting my house after 3 years of living here, reading through some old magazines that have created quite the pile, stuff like that that just sits. It would be nice to have some breaths of fresh air having a few little things done.
  • The next one is for the Monkey. They say that kids make you better people. They say that kids make you be a better you because they follow your lead. In the last 2 years, I am amazed at how true this is. I am making a vow to myself to do my best at being my best for the Monkey. We have daily talks about numbers and colors and ABC's and I need to expand my toddler knowledge to keep teaching the Monkey. I need to take more time to read to the Monkey because she loves it. I need to keep searching and finding things that the Monkey will love and make her a better and more rounded toddler. The proof is in the actions! Day 1 of swim lessons was awesome and she did amazing!
  • The last of my list is a two parter. A- I want to take more time for myself and B- I need to stay out of my own way. I never take the time for myself to enjoy the things that I enjoy. Sometimes because there are things that need to get done or because I feel guilty. I want to work harder on being okay with doing more for me because that will let me be better for those around me. And part 2....I have a tendency to be my worst enemy. I don't think I'm good enough or that I have worked hard enough etc. I need to do what I enjoy and enjoy the process of growing. I need to find pleasure in the process. I need to find excitement in the growth. I need to be proud of the little accomplishments that make me a better me.
So, to that end .... Happy 15th day of the month everyone! I hope that we can help each other with our focus and determination to make this year better than the last. On that note.... where are you going to be on day 16?

1 comment:

  1. You are a different person that a year ago. then you were a new mom, with an active little 1 year old, and on new meds that totally changed your hormonal balance. Your normal then has evolved into a new normal now. It's great you are feeling better and enjoying the new normal. I like your take on resolutions. I like the idea of changing habits or developing new habits. I think we all need to do that, as we aren't the person we have been, and next year, we won't be the person we are today. We are constantly changing. I could only get through the bible in a year when I was part of a weekly bible study. Today, I am happy when I read, or just think, about a scripture. Exercise is good, and even if you don't exercise to a video, your chores are exercise! I have just added more weight training, and that sure helps. I read where you can work your legs and your arms with holding small weights, and that resistance adds so much more. I have to start using ours! You love doing your crafts. you love reading to M. think of spending 10 or 15 min if you don't have a whole afternoon for crafts or to play. I wanted to read a book, but "wouldn't" take a Sun afternoon to lay on the couch and read one, with the temps outside in the teens. so the book didn't get read. Now, with being here, and relaxing, I think I can go home and take an hour, and find that hour! You can do the same thing at the beginning of the nap. especially since you are finding more meals that you can make quickly. For your last area, ditto my last few comments. Never feel guilty - just do what you can. Now, when I'm tired, I'm done. That is the time I enjoy writing my blog or reading. I hope you can find the time to enjoy some time for yourself! love ya!

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