Advent season has started. Christmas songs are starting to blare from radio speakers. Lights and decorations are going up all around us. Well, except for our house. We've come up with a way to make Kenzie's birthday extra special, Christmas extra special, and to enjoy the holidays all the way to the end of January. The Christmas season doesn't actually begin in our house until after Kenzie's birthday. The day after her birthday party, the Christmas tree will come into the house after living in the shop for part of a week. The boxes of decorations that my strong hubby has brought down from the attic are waiting to be unpacked. It will be so exciting this year. Kenzie loves all the lights and sparkles and twinkles. Santa's little helper is ready to go and it is going to be a blast.
Kids are getting excited for Santa's big night. Christmas lists are being made for loved ones. I am about 2/3 of the way through not only my shopping, but everything that is in our house is already wrapped and labeled for our holiday celebrations. I am such an internet shopper! Living where we do and with our crazy schedules, shopping online is so much easier and less stressful. Hopefully, (fingers crossed) the gifts that are on back order will be shipped and on there way here very soon! With all of the preparations, everyone is starting to ask the same question: What do you want for Christmas?
The more I think about this question, the more I come up with two things for Santa to bring me this year. I want to be able to stop time! It's not like I want to turn fifteen minutes into three weeks or anything...just, maybe give me an extra hour or two in the evenings. I just never seem to have time to get anything done! Exhibit A~ the last time I even looked at my blog was over two months ago! Today was a great example. We went outside this morning and got some maintenance stuff done: Jake worked on the tractor cleaning the horse lot while I cleaned the rabbit hutch, pigeon and chicken coops and the dog kennels. Then we went down to Jake's grandparents so we could cut our yearly supply of wood for the winter. With two running chainsaws, we got the back of the truck filled up in no time at all! After we arrived back home, we unloaded and stacked the wood in the dark, put out a round bale for the horses in the dark, did chores in the dark, and worked on the Suzuki in the dark. We did accomplish a lot today but it really was only half of my list of what I wanted to get done today. I could have used at least three more hours today! It was nice out and there was no wind...I could have worked out there forever.
My second Santa wish list item: Finding my way to be Super Mom! This week is going to be insane! We have a million things that need done before family comes to visit, Kenzie's birthday party, plus we have a Christmas party to go to, doctor's appointments this week, Christmas family pictures that need to be taken at some point plus all the daily work schedules, Kenzie playtime, Ruger and Zip loves, and whatever else decides to present itself this week. I know what my mom is going to say the second she reads this: "Just do what you have to ... nothing else... the rest can wait... take some time to relax and we will see you in 5 days" Did I get it right Mom? I have made my lists for the week. Yeah, I know. My New Year's Resolution for 2010 was no more lists. But, come on... it is impossible for the insanely list oriented me to succumb to a life of not crossing things off a sheet of paper. I divided my list into have to's, need to's, want to's and should do's. So it is prioritized. Even though the list is prioritized and even though only a specific list needs done this week, I want to see it all get done.
I have all these things that I want to do and should do and I never have the time. Either there are other things that are my priorities or other things that have to get done it puts all of the "want to's" on the back burner. And the days that I actually have time to work on a "want to" I am so exhausted that all I want to do is hang out with the Monkey Baby and just enjoy my day off. It is just so hard sometimes with my full work schedule and trying to take care of everything around the house until Jake gets home, spending time with the Crazy Kid and then trying to do the Cool Mom stuff. Special invites for Kenzie's birthday, plans for a homemade cake I want to make, preparing a great get together with our friends and family, Christmas projects that still need to get finished up and a million other things that I want to find the time for. I know I need to take it all one day at a time, one project at a time. I just get so burned out still. I try so hard to do more and more everyday. I know I'm getting better. I know I'm doing more and more. I know that this too is another test of my strength and determination. I am starting to feel more and more like the old me. Bad days are better, good days are better. But I'm still not there yet. I know that this too will past. I know I will look back on this and not be able to remember the hard days. I just get so frustrated sometimes. I get mad at myself that I'm not stronger and more determined on my bad days to just push through no matter what.
Right now, Kenzie is snuggled away in her bed for the night with her baby. Jake is snoring away on the couch. I should be getting a start on the week. But, for tonight, for right now, I am going to relax. My frustrations are out. My goals for the week are set. I am just going to finish watching my t.v. show in silence and then head to bed. The rest can wait until the daylight breaks.
So goodnight all! I'm going to bed with thoughts of sugar plums dancing in my head. And, just maybe, I will get lucky enough that Santa thinks I'm a good enough girl to bring me my two presents this year!
Yes, you got it right, almost word by word. It brought tears to my eyes. I can just seeing Makenzie blowing kisses in the wind. I'll have to take a pic this weekend. I guess you'll just have to see what you do, not what you didn't do. Remember, Super Mom was a thing of the 80's and it's not realistic now. We don't live in the 50's where the moms just cooked and cleaned and sew. We do more. Just like your header this Christmas season...Believe in the magic.
ReplyDeleteMaybe dad and I can give you a few extra hours when we're there later in the month.